March 2012
1 post
Mar 1st
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February 2012
10 posts
Feb 29th
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Feb 28th
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Feb 27th
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Feb 27th
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Feb 23rd
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Feb 17th
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Feb 17th
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Ramblings of a Fat Procrastinator →
I know it’s a bit annoying to click on links that don’t have a picture of Madame LaQueef or a cat’s face poking through bread, but I’m playing my one annual “Tumblr, let’s get serious for a second” card, so please click [here] & watch this amazing girl for a second.  I babysat Kristen for years & watched her grow up. I remember babysitting her the...
Feb 9th
2 notes
Feb 5th
15 notes
Andrew: How'd you do on that TV show?
Heidi: I think facially I did fine.
Andrew: "I think facially I did fine" should be the title of your memoirs.
Feb 1st
6 notes
January 2012
18 posts
Jan 27th
Jan 26th
Jan 26th
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Jan 26th
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Jan 25th
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Jan 24th
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Jan 24th
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Jan 20th
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Jan 20th
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Jan 16th
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“When Nick takes his girlfriend’s kids on a road trip, it’s the kids...”
– Just another day on the job, writing synopses for Ice Cube movies. Is this what career fulfillment feels like?
Jan 10th
8 notes
Thanks to obsessively stalking my own timeline, I now can trace back every single nickname I handed out at the 2009 Gay Mixer. (My nickname? Countess Poach.) Here they are, in no particular order: Curds & Whey Twinkle Heath Ledger Two-Tone Aaron Kyte 2.0 Cake Buff Grey-Grey Fluke  Tallarious Can anyone help me figure out WHO these people are in real life? It’d be weird if...
Jan 10th
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Jan 9th
Jan 8th
Jan 6th
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Jan 6th
Jan 6th
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Jan 3rd
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December 2011
22 posts
A Christmas spent at home always makes me...
So I guess what I’m saying is, I’m happy to be here and not trapped in a cabin with 24 French strangers, one of whom walked in on me naked in the bathroom while I was stealing her shampoo out of her bag.
Dec 24th
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Dec 22nd
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Dec 22nd
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Dec 22nd
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Dec 22nd
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Dec 22nd
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Dec 22nd
Dec 22nd
Dec 22nd
Dec 22nd
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ListenThe song: Extra Festive Y’All The artist: Alex...
Dec 22nd
Heidi Ho Ho Ho
On Monday we held my 5th annual album launch party! It’s my favourite day of the year where we listen to our holiday hits, drink cocktails, and vote (usually unanimously) on which song to award the coveted “Emerald Tree” that Alex made out of something he found at work. This year, however, was an anomaly because EVERY song was amazing; we could not pick one that was the best! So we decided...
Dec 22nd
Dec 18th
Dec 15th
Dec 13th
Dec 10th
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Dec 8th
Dec 7th
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“Adele’s music is the soundtrack for overeating in the same way Enya’s music is...”
– Andrew Johnston brilliance! (via 2burgers2fries2dietcokes) This wins joke of the night, just edging out “Lindsay Lohan is a human tail.”
Dec 7th
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Dec 6th
Dec 5th