May 2012
3 posts
May 25th
1 note
May 17th
1 note
May 8th
4 notes
April 2012
15 posts
“OK, so I’ve been retweeted by RuPaul, Nikki Blonsky, and Chatelaine. Now...”
– Me, to me, now.
Apr 25th
3 notes
Apr 25th
2 notes
Apr 25th
6 notes
3 tags
Apr 20th
3 notes
Apr 18th
555 notes
“Ummm…we could do a sketch featuring a Flaming Lips tribute band...”
– My MTV pitch of the week. 
Apr 18th
3 notes
Thoughts on "Girls" from a girl:
Liked it surprisingly a lot for a show that’s written by someone I’m ragingly jealous of; Seemed much more like university than post-university; If they submit it to the Emmys as a comedy and it becomes one of those freshman shows that steal Emmy nominations away from Jane Krakowski, I’ll DESTROY it. 
Apr 16th
1 note
Apr 16th
1 note
Apr 12th
8 notes
1 tag
Apr 11th
Apr 7th
4 notes
Apr 6th
9,863 notes
“So let me get this straight. You’re moving, you’re packing,...”
– A conversation I just had with myself.
Apr 6th
6 notes
Apr 5th
2 notes
Apr 2nd
3 notes
March 2012
10 posts
Keepin' It Real →
These are my friends Anthony & Symeon: http://ankhenatenmedia.podomatic.com/  They are real human people, not SNL characters. I just listened to their podcast on the streetcar and almost ROTFL-ed in the aisle “Tapatapatapatapatapa” “Whatcha doin’ there?” “Oh hey girl. Oh nothing, just writing an ad.” “Really? An ad for what?” “Ummmmm…a boyfriend.”
Mar 27th
Mar 27th
114 notes
Mar 26th
4 notes
Mar 23rd
I wrote this and now it's a movie. This must be... →
Mar 20th
1 note
Mar 17th
Mar 16th
Mar 14th
5 notes
Mar 13th
3 notes
Mar 1st
3 notes
February 2012
10 posts
Feb 29th
3 notes
Feb 28th
4 notes
Feb 27th
7 notes
Feb 27th
3 notes
Feb 23rd
2 notes
Feb 17th
3 notes
Feb 17th
5 notes
Ramblings of a Fat Procrastinator →
I know it’s a bit annoying to click on links that don’t have a picture of Madame LaQueef or a cat’s face poking through bread, but I’m playing my one annual “Tumblr, let’s get serious for a second” card, so please click [here] & watch this amazing girl for a second.  I babysat Kristen for years & watched her grow up. I remember babysitting her the...
Feb 9th
2 notes
Feb 5th
15 notes
Andrew: How'd you do on that TV show?
Heidi: I think facially I did fine.
Andrew: "I think facially I did fine" should be the title of your memoirs.
Feb 1st
6 notes
January 2012
18 posts
Jan 27th
8 notes
Jan 26th
5 notes
Jan 26th
4 notes
Jan 26th
1 note
Jan 25th
11 notes
Jan 24th
31 notes
Jan 24th
2 notes
Jan 20th
6 notes
Jan 20th
6 notes
Jan 16th
111 notes
“When Nick takes his girlfriend’s kids on a road trip, it’s the kids...”
– Just another day on the job, writing synopses for Ice Cube movies. Is this what career fulfillment feels like?
Jan 10th
8 notes
Thanks to obsessively stalking my own timeline, I now can trace back every single nickname I handed out at the 2009 Gay Mixer. (My nickname? Countess Poach.) Here they are, in no particular order: Curds & Whey Twinkle Heath Ledger Two-Tone Aaron Kyte 2.0 Cake Buff Grey-Grey Fluke  Tallarious Can anyone help me figure out WHO these people are in real life? It’d be weird if...
Jan 10th
4 notes